How to Be Kinkier: More Adventures in Adult Playtime Page 11
Facing Page: A naughty submissive sometimes needs a good spanking.
If you're new to rope bondage, try easy knots first and work your way up.
Even simple rope bondage can be beautiful.
That said, online porn can serve as inspiration, but should not be your standard. There are so many positions for bondage and they all look delicious, but what the camera shows you doesn’t always translate well into real-life bondage sex. A lot of what you might see online are bondage ties that concentrate on full mobility restriction rather than facilitating great sex. You should listen to your partner and keep your desires in the clouds but your feet on the ground. Rope bondage ties like the shrimp or Ebi tie are great for restriction but also allow access to your bottom’s “good bits.” This is a cross-legged tie that works in a few different positions—with subs on their back, their side, or if they are flexible enough, facedown and ass up for great penetrative sex. If the slave has mobility issues, a simple hands-to-knees tie will make the facedown and ass up position even more comfortable. If you love a forced blow job, then a classic Japanese bondage tie where the submissive’s wrists are behind their head with their elbows tied is perfect because not only can’t bottoms get away, you can use their elbows to steer.
Be creative when thinking about your rope bondage; seek out new and interesting options.
A fresh Brazillian wax is key to getting your own way.
I love how rope bondage puts me in a place where it feels like I am being pampered by the rope top, who is spending all this time making me into his or her bondage work of art. Part of this process I love is when the bondage is both pretty and practical; for example, during sex bondage when I can’t hold my legs up and open or don’t want to for a really long time, but he gets me tied in that position and I can just relax into that element of control. While I am helpless and spread open, my partner can tie me in different ways and expose me or fuck me or tease me or torment me—it is all up to him and his desires. The rope allows for him to have that control over me. I can struggle and I have to confess I love to feel the rope bite into me as I struggle and squirm while they are doing whatever they want to me. The smell, the feel, the texture of rope—it all gets me hot and wet. During that struggle when the rope presses into me or pinches me sharply on the inside of my arm where the skin is tender because I struggle too much, that reminds me that I am helpless.”
—Allyss, rope bottom
When you have a bottom tied up with each wrist tied to her ankles while she’s on her back, you can use her for sex or even shave or wax her in preparation for your scene. Bondage for sex means you can get at their pussy, cock, ass or breasts and enjoy yourself without the rope getting in the way. If rope isn’t your thing but plastic wrap is, the best part is that once you get them all wrapped up in the position you want and their naughty bits are covered, you can simply tear a hole in the plastic and enjoy. Not all bondage is for sex, but lots of kinky sex is with bondage. Once you get your partner immobilized, you never know what can transpire!
Safe and Snug
More about plastic wrap shortly, but let’s revisit some basic safety first. General safety rule of thumb: the breathing and fingernail test. 1) Are they breathing, and can they tell you how they are doing? Great! Keep going. 2) If you press down on a fingernail it should turn white; when you release, it should turn back to pink—if that is the case, then your binds aren’t too tight. Communicate. Talk to them in a sexy way. You can get all the information you need to know from nuzzling her ear while nibbling the nape of her neck and saying, “Mmm…baby, you are so hot, I love to see you squirm—are you good, everything okay?” This, rather than standing over your sub and complaining that he isn’t good enough because the tie you did with his arms jacked up behind him has caused those limbs to fall asleep and he’s complaining about it. Keep the mood, and you will keep the scene while you readjust your knots or rope.
Bondage tape is easy, safe, nonthreatening to newbies, and you can make anything from cock rings to gags and masks with it!
Once I did a scene where I tied two sexy ladies together on a bed at a local fetish night. One was an experienced bottom of mine, and the other was new. I had gone through the pre-scene negotiation with her about any issues that might arise or could affect our time together. She assured me over and over that she was good to go. I did an elaborate body harness on her and had her hands tied behind her back. Suddenly she went into a panic attack—her breath rate increased, she started sweating and struggling. I calmed her down and untied her hands. Because I build my bondage in modular layers, I was able to untie her hands immediately and didn’t have to untie her body harness. Once as her hands were free she calmed down immediately; we gave her some water and sat reassuring her. That was all it took to help relieve her stress. We didn’t even have to untie the complex body harness. She was so excited to finally be tied up by me that she didn’t tell me about her anxiety for fear that I wouldn’t play with her. That put me in a potentially difficult position. If I had known of her issues ahead of time, I would have done the tie differently. After a break we were able to get back into a lighter scene and we all enjoyed ourselves. Lesson to submissives: let your Top know any health-related issues you have: asthma, epilepsy, a painful joint, anxiety, et cetera. It doesn’t mean we won’t play with you, it just means we may have to adjust our scene accordingly. Let us do the driving, but give us a “car” in which we know all the controls. Any quality Dominant, Mistress, Master or Top will want your safety to be of paramount importance. If this is not the case, then you should reevaluate the person who wants to do something to you. Breaking our toys means never getting to play with them again. Speak up; don’t be shy if you have a trick knee from a high school field hockey injury that suddenly jumps out of joint, or if you get light-headed when excited. Everybody wants open communication when it comes to health-related issues. Play should be fun but safety is serious.
Playing rope bondage games with a super flexible partner will take you places you never dreamed.
1 Get a sexy submissive and open the bag all the way to the feet. This particular one from Northbound Leather features a two way zipper and reinforced seams. 2 On the inside of the bag you will find arm sleeves that zip up to the armpit. This is so they can’t fuss with the zipper from the inside. 3 Then zip up the bag from the bottom to the top. 4 Leather breathes more than plastic so you can have longer sessions in it.
Girls, being on the receiving end for years doesn't mean you are a natural at fucking with a strap-on. Positioning is everything.
Full-Body Bondage
Plastic wrap you get from the grocery store or better yet from a packing and moving supply store is so much fun for under twenty dollars! I have had many playdates that wound up with my partner all wrapped up like a burrito. There are a few safety issues you need to know about when wrapping someone in plastic. The first one is their temperature. If you use a rectal thermometer to check, suddenly you have a medical play scene! You don’t really need a thermometer, though; you can check by touching them, or simply asking them how they are feeling. When you wrap someone up, it causes his or her body to be more sensitive to temperature change. By wrapping them with plastic, you are using an impervious membrane that doesn’t allow moisture to escape, so depending on the ambient temperature, this can cause them to sweat—especially if you have an evil gleam in your eye and threaten them with a chili pepper enema.
Second, when you wrap someone, each subsequent layer of wrapping becomes tighter, compressing his or her body. Placing a tea towel between the bony parts of the body will make it much more comfortable for them to stay in the bondage longer. Between the knees is one of the key locations. Always make someone comfortable until you decide it is time for him or her to be uncomfortable. Not having to compete with distracting pain will keep their attention focused on you and what is happening to them. A fine alternative for snuggly wrapping and containing someone has been dreamed up by companies like Northbound L
eather that produce hand-stitched and riveted, full-leather mummy bags. These bags have these advantages: 1) they are ready to go now when you are feeling horny instead of having to fuss with plastic wrap; 2) they have internal sleeves for the arms; 3) you can get your partner into and out of them in hurry, and 4) they are made from leather, which breathes with the body so the chances of overheating are lessened.
There is also duct tape mummification—again, the membrane is impervious, so treat it like plastic wrap, but first wrap the victim in a layer of plastic so when it comes time to remove the duct tape you don’t have to peel them like a banana. That would be terrible aftercare. The people who love duct tape really love it. There are bottoms who become sexually aroused just from the smell of duct tape.
Something that has enjoyed a resurgence over the past few years due to new designs as new technology has become available is the Vacuum Bed. Imagine being sheathed entirely in latex, hugged tight and frozen in place with a second skin sucked tightly to your skin, with position changes easily made by simply loosening the gasket around the neck. I really love making someone completely helpless in a Vacuum Bed and at the mercy of my Hitachi Magic Wand. I vividly remember the first time I saw an image of a latex Vacuum Bed in action: a woman was encased in shiny black latex, all of her curves, every nook completely defined and visible, the pattern on her fishnet stockings sharp, yet she was completely restrained and encapsulated by this sexy and shiny thin latex second skin. She was beautiful, sexy and intriguing. In essence a Vacuum Bed is a large, rectangular, airtight, latex bag. This is hooked to a regular vacuum cleaner that sucks all of the air out, trapping anyone who is in there between the two layers of latex sheeting. The latex sucks down to perfectly fit the user; no fussing with sizes, no hunting for the right frame—they fit everyone. Think Han Solo in Carbonite, but way sexier. Some beds have a breathing tube or a hole, and for the claustrophobic, a tapered neck gasket like a turtleneck sweater is available. Inside the bag a frame of plastic pipes sucks out the air while keeping the bag stretched out tight and flat. That is what it is, but what it does is something else entirely.
Your partner isn’t a mind reader: you have to let him or her know what turns you on.
Being inside a Vacuum Bed really isn’t as scary as it looks. The best thing about Vacuum Beds is that unlike rope, binders, cuffs and manacles, the Vacuum Bed binds you all over. There are no points of high stress; no straps that dig in, no chafing. When inside, the only thing that you’ll have control over is the pose you strike. My advice to someone trying out a bed for the first time—pick an easy pose. You’ll have a lot more fun if you’re in a comfortable position but bear in mind you want your partner to have access to your fun bits! Throw a pillow under your head or a foam sheet under or inside the bed for extra comfort. The next part is the really exciting sensation when the vacuum is turned on and all the latex sucks down on you. First it starts to slowly conform to your body and then very rapidly sucks you down so you’re immobilized. That’s usually the part where you start giggling with delight. Think of it as a full-body latex hug.
So you’re stuck in the bed… You can wiggle a little, but you are basically confined to your starting position. You’ll be able to feel almost everything through the latex. It’s very sensitive to hot and cold and only slightly dulls physical sensations so it’s still great for impact play and vibrators!
—Archean, of Kink Engineering
Showertime has never been more fun.
1 Here are all the pieces: one vacuum, two side rails and end rails made from PVC pipe, the bar for sealing it, the latex bed itself and some tape. 2 Unroll the latex bag and start assembling the bed. 3 Use a low tac semi stretchy tape to tape the frame bits together. This will help keep the frame solid. We like clear hockey tape available at any sports store. 4 On the bottom rail there will be one joint that points outwards. This is where the vacuum attaches to. 5 When you assemble the side rails, make sure the holes are pointing inwards.
6 Once all the joints are taped, lay it out. 7 Insert the frame into the latex bed, being careful not to rip the latex. 8 All the way to the end. If it is a bed with a zipper it will fit the frame perfectly. If it is a bed with a closure bar it will have 8 extra inches at the top.
9 There is a hole designed to fit over the one joint that points outwards. 10 Make sure you tape this too. 11 Kink Engineering has created a simple one way valve that means you only have to run the vacuum intermittently. 12 Tape that joint and fit it into the vacuum hose. 13 Get your submissive to slide into the bed. 14 Make sure the neck gasket is smoothed out.
15 The closure bar is a fast and easy way to get someone in and out of the bed, much better than the zippers of old style beds. 16 Lay the bar under the latex, and then firmly push the tube into the slot, sealing the bag. 17 Roll it up for neatness and to ensure the best seal possible. 18 Turn on the vacuum and let it suck all the air out. Then get some lovely slaves to lube up your victim… 19 and body slide alllll over them!
Climbing out of a vac bed can be just as much fun as climbing in.
Forced sex is fabulous, but he/she has to be willing.
The Vacuum Beds produced today are of a superior quality to the ones made five, ten or fifteen years ago. Silk-screening and multiple colors have pimped up this fun toy and made it so much less intimidating than the ones your parents played in. (Weird picture, I know, but an intriguing thought that might explain a lot about you.) Assembling a Vacuum Bed is easy with quick connectors.
One of my favorite companies, Kink Engineering, has created new and superior gasket seals that are more secure, and a valve that doesn’t require the vacuum to be run constantly.
Fun Tips for Enjoying a Vacuum Bed
Changing positions: ass up, arms behind back, fingers in hair; fingers close to erogenous zones—but not touching
Run ice cubes over the bed and watch your partner squirm!
Before lubricating the outside of the bed, run your fingers along the surface, applying a bit of pressure. This will cause the latex to pinch at your partner’s skin a bit
Put a vibrator inside the Vacuum Bed—your partner will beg you to turn it on, and then later beg you to turn it off!
Lubricate the inside of the bed and allow your partner to slowly slide around inside and then turn the vacuum on and off at different intervals to surprise him
Put a sheet or thin layer of foam rubber under your partner inside the Vacuum Bed and notice that she can’t move at all as the bed gets even more rigid with the added nonstretchy material in there
At a party, invite your friends to give massages. Vacuum Bed massages are about as close to heaven as you can get on earth
Tickling your sub while he or she is inside is about as close to hell as you can get on earth—fun, fun hell
Add blindfold and earplugs or a gasmask to an open-faced Vacuum Bed and you can have a very complete sensory deprivation experience. A great way to hypersensitize your sub to your every touch.
Lube up the outside and have naked sexy people slide all over your sub. (My personal favorite!)
When pegging your partner with a strap-on, start with him bent over the edge of the bed and then work your way into a more standard face-to-face position until you are comfortable with the dildo and know how it will move with you.
All of this adds up to an extra dimension in your kinky bondage play. You have a perfect latex form of your partner as a living sculpture to satisfy or deny; watch the desperate bottom try to squirm away or toward your attentions with little success. Tease them, tickle them, suck, ride and caress them and send them over the edge into ecstasy; it’s all in your hands.
The Right to Remain Silent: Metal Restraints
I know many people who love handcuffs and metal restraints. They are hard, sometimes shiny, sexy and have that classic, “Oh, I have been a bad boy, Officer Roslyn, what are you going to do about it?” feel to them.
For a lot of us, handcuffs picked up in a novelty store were the first things th
at we used to restrain or be restrained in bed with. For a lot of us they are our entry point into realizing how much fun restraint is. Their biggest benefit is their immediacy. That is the reason law enforcement uses them—they can be quickly put on, and when you’re doing a hot takedown scene where the two of you are wrestling around on the ground, they give of an air of authority that is pretty fucking hot once snapped on. What I am not a big fan of is how unyielding they are. The more someone struggles, the more they can do some serious damage to all the nerves and tendons in his or her wrists. Now, I can hear those metal restraint lovers out there about to jump on their soapboxes about how you have to apply them properly or get the right style and so on, but let me reassure you that while it can be seen as a drawback to the safety issue, this is also one of their strengths. One of the styles of play I really love is “compliance training”—when I put someone in a position, I want her to remain in that position for as long as I desire. Failure to do so will result in very painful consequences.
Handcuffs—a bondage classic.
Some dildos make better plugs than strap-ons. Think about the shape and material for what you want to penetrate and where!