How to Be Kinkier: More Adventures in Adult Playtime Page 10
You can be creative with what you tickle your partner with.
Wooden toys give really mean marks when you get spanked with them.
High inner thigh: This spot is a winner. The submissives I tickle go absolutely insane when tickled on the inner thighs right beside the perineum, that area between the vagina and anus (or, if your victim is a man, just under the ball sack and before his anus). The trick is to keep the tickles moving between the area over the vagina and back to the inner thigh.
Rope bondage is aesthetically pleasing as well as very sexy.
Colorful soft cotton rope is cheap at any magic supply store.
Hips: This is another great spot that reacts well to more “pointy” objects as well as soft. Poking lightly with both thumbs on the bone can be incredibly torturous for your poor tickle slave. Light tickles can work equally well; you can have a really wide range of reactions to different objects here.
Feet: The all-time classic spot! Here is my super duper secret tip—lube up their feet with water-based lube and then let it dry. Dried lube increases the ticking sensations by two times! This is a great entry level tickle spot and you can lure newbie partners into it by offering them a foot massage and lulling them into a nice dreamy headspace before you unleash your evil machinations on their tender tootsies. If your slave is already good with foot tickling, try putting them into a hog-tie. Face down does wonders for inhibiting the brain’s capability to predict ticklish sensations, and being tied like this contributes to their helplessness. Dragging a long sharp nail down the sole of the foot while your victim is tied this way is one of the most beautiful tickling tortures you can put your submissive through.
Floggers can be used for soft caressing as well as heaving beating. Mix it up.
I like to keep a tickling scene varied and fresh each time I do it. Sometimes I will tie the bottom’s toes together with some yarn or pretty ribbon—bottoms love to be “all prettied up”—and then I use lube to slick up their feet. Then I use a sharper object like a comb or ballpoint pen and drag it across their skin. Interestingly, tying someone so that they are completely helpless isn’t always better. I have seen playdates where a submissive is more frantic and helpless if he is tickled while not tied up. Plus you get to chase him or her across the bed and yank her back into position if she gets too far. Or better yet, ORDER your submissive to “Get your ass back over here; I am not done with you yet!” and then watch that internal struggle of desire and regret fight inside behind her eyes. If you are going to tie with a minimal amount of rope, give them a little slack so they think they can almost get away but in reality they can’t; that is immensely frustrating and entertaining.
Remember: mood is everything. Create a playful atmosphere where he or she feels safe and you will have one big gooey puddle of submissive on your hands when you are through. Ultimately, tickling is fascinating and your slave will either love it or hate it. Take the time to introduce it properly and be open to learning new things. If you are into heavy play in your kinky life, try doing the harder pain activities first, before you move into tickling. Not only does it provoke quite the mind fuck, but sensitivity after pain always increases. It is a great compliment to the scene in the dungeon and will give you a wider range of activities to draw from to make your play even steamier!
Traveling with Sex Toys
Sooner or later you are going to hit the road and you will undoubtedly want to bring some of your toys with you. There is something hot and dirty about meeting up in a cheap hotel for a kinky rendezvous for thirty-six hours. Of course you will want to have your favorite playthings with you. However, as we all know, air travel both domestically and internationally has changed significantly since 2001. If the Transport Security Authority (TSA) gets all humpy over you bringing shampoo in your carry-on, you can bet your electrical stimulation equipment is going to do more than raise a few eyebrows. If they let you make your plane, they will certainly be keeping it if you try to bring it in your carry-on luggage. You can travel with your toys, but you need to use some common sense, pay attention to the rules and regulations regarding restricted and prohibited items and put all your stuff in your checked luggage. If it looks like it could be a weapon (floggers, whips or zappy things like Tasers) don’t even think of trying to bring it in your carry-on bags. You might be emotionally attached to a gorgeous flogger you have owned for years but the TSA doesn’t care about how much you love it; they will be happy to confiscate it and toss it in a bin for disposal and you will lose it forever. When I travel I tend to take toys or items that, if push came to shove and they were confiscated., I wouldn’t miss all that much. My luxurious handmade hemp and jute rope stays at home, and I take some solid and effective hemp rope for bondage with me. Likewise for other toys: in my personal collection I have a unique and eclectic selection of toys that are unusual and rare. These are not toys I would want to give up to the airport security people, so I leave my AAA-grade bird’s-eye maple paddle at home. Same goes for the one made out of alligator hide or my E-Stim electrical toys.
Facing Page: Pulling hair is a classic way to make your submissives behave.
Nipple clamps sometimes come with bells on the ends.
Strips of three-inch-wide Velcro make great restraints—inescapable, but quickly released.
Other toys that have sentimental value, like my lovingly braided chain leash or the big scary hunting knife I have owned since I was thirteen, all stay in my toy chest at home. While you’re on the road, your toys are going to be well used, and remember that your luggage is going to be thrown around by a ramp guy whose main interest is how fast he can get it into the belly of the plane to shorten the plane’s turnaround time. Don’t be upset because you simply had to bring that three-hundred-dollar glass dildo along on a business trip and by the time you open up your luggage at the hotel it’s been broken into three pieces; it’s your fault for bringing it. This isn’t to say we can’t bring any of our favorite toys; there are lots of toys that are roadworthy—Hitachi Magic Wands, other vibrators, wrist and ankle restraints, collars, rope, butt plugs, paddles and floggers; basically, items that won’t be likely to break if they are bounced around in your luggage. There are also lots of toys that we buy when we are on the road and that should make it home in one piece. One of my favorite places for kinky toy shopping is at the Leather Market for International Mr. Leather in Chicago every Memorial Day weekend. I find some great deals from large vendors and smaller artisans. (Seriously, you have to go!) Just be aware that some may not make it home in one piece and buy your toys accordingly. Do you need a super-delicate electrical device or an antique violet wand that weekend or can you find one at home or have it shipped at a later date? Being a conscientious consumer will take the sting out of losing something. I always pack my toys in my checked luggage no matter where I go. Routinely I open up my luggage when I get to either my destination or my home and invariably I find that little card from the TSA saying how much they enjoyed going through my luggage. That way I know they have been there; it’s kind of polite. So what I do to make the travel smoother is pack all my toys up on top and make them easy to get to as soon as they open the suitcase. If they are going to paw through them, I would rather they get to them easily instead of having to dig through my underwear and toiletries. Remember, they are checking for drugs and bombs. Your seven-inch stainless steel butt plug isn’t a security concern, but by putting it front and center, you’re making it easier for them to process your bag rather than having to dig around for it and break your camera equipment. None of my personal property has ever gone missing or been stolen or confiscated. I can’t make that a broad sweeping rule, but with the amount of traveling I do, I find the TSA to be polite and courteous, and if you behave yourself going through security checks and dress like you are on your way to visit your aunt, you will breeze through security and your stuff should arrive with you relatively unmolested. Remember: good manners never go out of style and if you get pulled into a secondary inspection an
d they pick up your toy, hold it out in front of them and ask you to explain, be honest and say, “That goes in my ass, sir. Um, you may want to be wearing gloves.” I am going to leave it up to you, an intelligent and responsible person who bought this book so you can facilitate your sexuality, to research the rules and regulations of where you are traveling to and what you can and can’t bring along, be it domestic or international. Like I said, I haven’t lost anything yet and that is reason for positive optimism.
It looks like a regular case from the outside, but the TSA are going to get a surprise when they open this luggage.
Run a cord through an ice cube tray and you get ice cube anal beads!
As we have seen, there are so many types of toys, from those you can create on the fly to some really beautiful works of art and craftsmanship you may purchase, that there is no reason to be without at least a few instruments of excitement. You are limited only by your own creative and dirty mind and remember: every toy has to have a wielder; it is the people behind them that make for a mind-blowing scene! Enjoy your toys, but never forget it is you who makes the scene hot and steamy. Now that we have our toys all lined up and ready, let’s explore new ways of making our partner (or ourselves!) helpless so all those juicy toys can be put to good use.
Five Key Points for Playing with the Big Toys:
Be open to new things.
Cheap toys are twice as expensive in the long run.
Support toy-making artisans.
Get hands-on lessons in using electrical toys.
Put all your kinky toys in your checked luggage when traveling by air.
Chapter Six
* * *
Advanced Bondage Techniques and Gear
If sex doesn’t scare the cat, you’re not doing it right.
—Anonymous
Mmm…bondage: nothing gets me hotter. You know that moment when he or she surrenders to you; how the soft closing of a pair of cuffs sounds in the bedroom when it’s just the two of you? You know that little metallic click of the clasp on the D-ring that says, You are mine now, as you restrain her arms and legs tightly, turning her into your helpless little puddle of excitement? Submissives, you know what I am talking about as well: the way it feels to be positioned into how and what your Master desires, and then have your mobility taken away from you as you sigh a sense of relief that someone is in charge of you for as long as he desires. We love that little wriggle you do, the turn of the leg where it meets the hip that seductively beckons to be kissed with lips or a whip. Helpless, deliciously helpless. How you moan and squirm and your pussy or cock begs for attention, your chest rising and panting as rope bites too tightly into your flesh when you move too much. Sometimes we want you to think you can almost get away, other times we want you to stay where you are put until we are done with you. There are so many tools to bind and restrain your lover with. It doesn’t have to be leather shackles; perhaps you are more of a silk scarf or rope aficionado? How about latex Vacuum Beds, leather mummy bags, plastic or veterinarian wrap? Whatever the materials used, being snugged, buckled, tied or wrapped and the physical and emotional feelings that go along with it, simply has to be experienced.
Facing Page: Hotel rooms are fun and the noises always leave your neighbors guessing.
Try running the pinwheel over your partner’s hips and watch their gorgeous response.
Let’s take a look at some of the fun things—and some dastardly ones too—that you can do to make your slave helpless and your inner sadist amused. When I have a bondage playdate arranged, I start planning days before we get together. I ask myself what it is that I want to achieve. Do I desire to cause them helplessness, pain or discomfort? When doing bondage, ask yourself the same questions. Do you want your submissives completely immobilized or would you prefer them to be tied up so they can squirm while you do fun, bad things to them? This is not to say that you have to have it all planned out; in How to Be Kinky we saw that play partners should be flexible with their activities when scening. This helps the scene stay fluid and enjoyable rather than it being rigidly scripted, which can take the spontaneity out of playtime. Are you going to want to fuck them or have them fuck you at some point? What about squirming? Will they wriggle so much they topple off the bed trying to get away? There are a myriad of reasons to restrain someone for fun and safety and there are lots of fun bondage techniques to play with.
People are funny—especially when they are in bondage. It never ceases to amaze me how some people react. Some reactions can be quite opposite from their usual personalities. I have seen mouthy submissives quiet right down once they are all tied up, just like when you place a towel over a squawking parrot’s cage. I have seen some normally subdued and chilled-out people get physically worked up at the challenge of bondage and fight like a calf out of a roping chute on a rodeo circuit. Forrest Gump did tell us that, “You never know what you’re gonna get,” but then I never saw Forrest in a hog-tie with a butt plug snug in his ass and a pair of panties jammed in his mouth. Perhaps that is in the extended DVD boxed set? If you have it, let me know.
Facing Page: Bondage in water looks both serene and amazing, but should only be attempted by the experienced.
1 Get a willing pair of feet. 2 Everyday yarn works great, and comes in many pretty colors. 3 Wrap once around the legs and then pull it through the loop. 4 Make a secure knot. Any knot will do, it doesn't have to be fancy. 5 Pull the yarn up between the legs… 6 and back through underneath.
7 Make a knot tying it all together so the legs are snug. 8 Trim off the excess yarn. 9 Take a fresh piece and push a loop through the cuffs you just made and pull the ends through. 10 Snug down that loop so it becomes a knot. 11 Here is where it gets pretty. Wind the yarn around the opposite big toe… 12 then come around the back.
13 Capture the next toe over… 14 and again pass around the back. 15 If you start to run out of yarn, just tie some more onto it and continue. 16 Now you are getting the hang of it! 17 Continue until you trap all the toes and then pass the yarn between the legs to change direction… 18 and now come around the back and trap the big toe on the other foot.
19 Make sure it is snug but not too tight, we want to be able to keep them in microbondage for as long as we like. 20 Keep repeating. 21 When you get the baby toe trapped, wind the yarn between the legs and tie it off. 22 Voila! Pretty and functional. 23 When it is time to come out, just snip it off with a pair of safety sissors, don't bother trying to untie it.
Invest in a wig collection. They can cheat on you with you.
Setting the Mood
Having someone helpless and delicious in front of you, or conversely being rendered helpless and delicious is one of the treasures of playtime. At that moment, possibilities, real and imagined, give you the chance to let go of your vanilla life and responsibilities. Bondage is a super way of marking the transition between your vanilla life and playtime. I love it both as a form of foreplay and as the main event. If you use it as foreplay, bondage works very well for warming up and easing someone into the playtime headspace. There is something incredibly sexy about having your partner all trussed up, ass high in the air and exposed, blindfolded and waiting with bated breath. Maybe he is starting to sweat, the small of his back glowing in anticipation. Perhaps there’s a shiver that ripples through her like wind on water when you first touch her, or a soft moan escaping his lips and a sharp intake of breath that follows the scrape of your stiletto heel across his butt.
Tying someone up for sex entails some important considerations: 1) positioning and 2) safety. Lots of bondage positions are hot, sexy and challenging, but you want to be sure the position you choose suits the activities you plan to indulge in, and you want to be certain it’s safe for your bottom. If you are reading this book, then I’m pretty certain you have surfed the Internet for kinky porn and stumbled across those delicious websites that have models tied up in very complex positions with every orifice plugged, crying and begging and being humiliated and all those other yumm
y things we love to experience in power play. I want to caution you that while those are pretty and sexy pictures, porn is a fantasy and you can’t judge your own bondage and sex life by it. I have seen people struggle to recreate those types of scenes in the bedroom, where the reality may be quite different. The reality of being on a fetish porn set is one where the video camera can be turned off so more lube can be applied or the ropes can be adjusted or the hair teased again or even eyedrops squirted into the model’s eyes so her mascara drips and runs down her cheeks. Not all of it is fake—some of those actors are actually into the lifestyle—but your own sex bondage can be so much hotter because it is real. It is you and someone you trust or love enough to be bound and fucked by and have your forehead bounced off the headboard while mounted from behind, your wrists tied tight, your nipples scraped by your lover’s nails and his or her hips banging into you. I always maintain that real sex is better than porn and you shouldn’t judge yourself by something you’ve seen online.